


it's you i'll come for

by onanotherworld



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Evil Space Boyfriends, Has Issues, M/M, Ren grows up and, a bit of angst, some smut, they're both awful people and yet here i am trying to make you pity them, unsurprisingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 19:55:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9673721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onanotherworld/pseuds/onanotherworld
Summary: What a brat.Kylo turns his head slightly, allowing light to fall into his cowl, and smirks at Hux. The man reddens, scowls.Get out of my headhe feels, and Kylo grins toothily at him.Watch your thoughts around me, Captain.Kylo says back through the Force, deep and sinuous. Hux curls his lip.





	

**Author's Note:**

> who's trash for star wars? *raises hand*

When Ben was three, he had an imaginary friend named Snowy. 

(Now, Ren laughs inside his head – how desperate Snoke must have been for him to come to the Dark side, to him, to allow himself to be called such an infantile name.)

His parents were indulgent of this, of course, he was only a toddler. Ben was a quiet child, with dark eyes and dark hair, and was perfectly content to play with Snowy for hours at a time, pliant. 

(This was the beginning, Ren knew now, of the war of Light and Dark, if only within himself)

When they found Ben surrounded by the wreckage of his room after a tantrum at five, slivers of wood and glass littering the floor, Leia snatched him up into her arms and stared at him, something like fear in her eyes. 

Snowy had said something, something _wrong_ , and Ben felt something red and hot blossom in him. He reached and reached with something he couldn’t name and hurled his wooden bed at the stone wall of the house, and screamed. 

(Ren doesn’t remember what Snowy said, but he remembers a tug, deep in his chest, hooking under his ribs, and feeling Snowy’s – _Snoke’s_ – glee)

Han just smiled wryly. “I always knew he took after you, Leia,” he said, scruffing a hand through Ben’s hair. Ben didn’t understand the meaning of this, and buried his head into Leia’s shoulder. 

They called Luke. With his parents ranged behind him, and Chewie leaning against the door, Ben almost forgot about what happened, as he played with a model of the _Millennium Falcon_ on the floor of their house’s sitting room. 

Luke sucked in his breath, as he looked at Ben, and Ben felt the brush of a _something_ against his mind. It wasn’t unpleasant, but unwanted. He shoved back at it, eyes getting wet, fists clenched at his sides, and said, in a child’s voice, “Stop it, Uncle! I don’t like it!”

(He remembers pride, warm and soft – not his own, his mother’s, his father’s, or Luke’s – wrapping his mind. He remembers the tug of the hook)

The pressure vanished, and a vase toppled off an end table and crashed to the floor. In Ben’s head, Snowy glowed blackly.

There was a silence, where the child breathed heavily, glaring at his uncle. Luke asked carefully, “You felt that, Ben?”

“He shouldn’t have been able to, should he?” Leia gazed at Luke, heavy with something unnamed. 

Luke looked back. “No.” 

**

Later, when Ben has gone to bed, he reaches out, extending his mind, flexing it like a new muscle, he hears his parents talk. 

“What does it matter, Leia? So he’s Force-sensitive – “

“It’s more than that, Han,” Leia hisses.

“Why does it have to be?” Chewie wails quietly in agreement with Han. 

“Because it does! Luke says Ben’s too young for this. He’s like – he’s like -”

Ben hears Han stop pacing. “Him?”

Leia says with a sob in her voice, “Yes. Yes, like him.”

Then there is silence, and Ben feels the atmosphere crystallise. Han’s voice is muffled by the side of Leia’s head. “We’ll keep him in the Light, Leia. We will. Us and Luke.” His conviction is so strong. 

Ben curls up on his mattress and sleeps.

He dreams of Snowy, and the Dark.

**

At nine, he is sent away. He wails for his parents, but his mother turns her face into his father’s shoulder. He senses their fear of him, and he doesn’t understand why they no longer want him. Luke leads him away, sobbing, to a ship. 

At nine, his anger settles deep. The hook inside him _tugs._

At nine, Snowy becomes Snoke.

(This was the beginning of the end)

**

At fourteen, he is surrounded by his fellow, fallen students, most still breathing. Luke is knelt before him. He feels a burst of his own satisfaction, mixed with Snoke’s, inside his head. 

Even now, his voice remains steady. “Ben. Ben, listen. You can stop this. The Dark isn’t you. Come back to the Light, Ben.”

Luke’s levelness enrages him further, and he curls his lip and snarls wordlessly. The walls of the temple shake. Snoke goads him on, bolstering his hatred.

He reaches up with a knife. He smirks when Luke flinches. He cuts off the small braid of a padawan, and throws it to Luke. Luke looks at him, sorrow and guilt swirling around him sickeningly, pleasurably. 

He sneers, “Ben is dead.” Snoke’s approval filters to him. “I am Kylo. Apprentice to Lord Snoke.” Horror blossoms on Luke’s face with comprehension. Using the Force, Kylo picks up Luke, and throws him against the wall, where he slides, unconscious and bleeding, to the floor. 

Kylo leaves the temple, and there is a ship. He smiles, and climbs on board. Snoke’s presence in his mind retreats, and settles itself. 

**

At eighteen, and not yet the leader of the Knights of Ren, he meets Hux for the first time. Hux stands behind his Commander, ramrod straight. Kylo himself stands behind the previous Lord Ren, cowled and slumped. He doesn’t think much of Hux, when he first sees him, just another minion of the First Order. 

Hux glares at him over the Commander’s shoulder, whilst the rest of the party ignores the Knights standing behind Lord Ren. Kylo resists slamming him to the wall by his throat.

Limited by Snoke’s dire warning to stop killing soldiers of the Order, he merely scans Hux’s mind. Kylo’s overall impression is of neatness and order, but with the surface thoughts of him being _what a brat_. 

Angered, the Force coils around him, but he is also amused despite himself. Kylo could crush him like an ant, and yet, Hux is undeterred from insulting him, if only in his mind. 

Kylo turns his head slightly, allowing light to fall into his cowl, and smirks at Hux. The man reddens, and scowls. 

_Get out of my head_ he feels, and Kylo grins toothily at him. 

_Watch your thoughts around me, Captain._ Kylo says back through the Force, deep and sinuous. 

Hux curls his lip.

**

At twenty-two, he is Lord Ren, and Hux is a General.

They are on board the _Finalizer_ and Kylo is incandescent. He throws Stormtroopers left and right, hearing the crumple of their armour with satisfaction. 

When he stomps onto the bridge, Hux stands with his arms folded behind his back, and his feet together. While the rest of the officers on the bridge fall silent immediately, turning to look at Kylo, Hux faces away. 

“They got away,” Kylo rumbles dangerously through his voice modulator.

“I know that, thank you, Lord Ren.” Hux does not face him.

“If your troopers were not incompetent – “

“If my troopers were not incompetent?” Hux finally swings towards him, eyes glinting. “If you were not so focused on the dramatics of torture, we would have got the Resistance pilot to talk, rather than you letting him get away!” 

Kylo growls, angry at his failure, but more angry at Hux. With no warning, he raises Hux from the ground by his throat, leaving the other man’s legs kicking in empty air. No-one on the bridge dares to move. 

“You know _nothing_ ,” Kylo spits and feels a flash of fear in Hux’s mind, but something else is there, too. 

Surprised, he drops Hux to the ground, wrong-footed. Hux gets up with what dignity he has left, and raises an eyebrow, “Will that be all, Lord Ren.” Snarling, Kylo swings his lightsaber on his way out of the bridge, destroying a console with a buzz of energy and the smell of melted durasteel. 

**

Later, when he is meditating in his quarters, he reaches into Hux’s mind. Hux is working at his desk, doesn’t feel his intrusion. He ruffles through Hux’s memories of the day, until he finds the scene on the bridge.

_Sensing Ren’s impotent rage, scorn against it, feels rather than sees him sweep in, anger at being called incompetent by a spoiled brat, a flash of want and desire at the sight of Ren despite this, sparked by his own anger, the want to pin him to a wall, feel him struggle against him, gasping and begging for it -_

_Enjoying the show?_ Kylo jolts out of Hux’s mind with a start. He is hard under his robes, and he pulls himself out. In retribution, he links himself to Hux again, lets him feel Kylo’s arousal, his pleasure at his hand on his cock. 

Kylo senses Hux gasp, and he smirks. Hux snarls back.

**

At twenty-two and a half, Hux slams him against a wall in his quarters, lips on Kylo’s. Kylo gasps into Hux’s mouth, biting down on Hux’s lower lip. Hux growls at him, the sound vibrating in their kiss, lips hot and swollen against each other. Hux curls his hands in Kylo’s hair, pulling at it painfully. The sensation makes him throb with want.

He lets this flow to Hux, who moans against him, rolling his hips. Kylo grabs Hux’s thighs, lifting him slightly and pushing his body against Kylo’s cock, desperate for friction. The push and pull of this removes all thoughts from Kylo’s mind.

“We,” Hux pants, sweaty and debauched, “speak of this to no-one, as - _oh_ \- agreed.” Kylo can only moan as he spills inside his robe. 

**

On his bed that night, Kylo wakes slightly as the mattress jostles. He turns over, eyes still closed, and breathes deeply. The movement stills for a second before it starts again. He hears the slide of fabric over skin, and somewhere in his mind, he knows Hux is leaving. Something in his chest twinges. 

Kylo sighs involuntarily. A pause in the movement. A hand pushes hair away from his forehead, sweeping in a line down his cheek. Through it, he senses reluctant affection. Kylo hums deep in his chest, and the sense of affection intensifies slightly. 

Steps on the floor, and the quiet opening and closing of a door. 

Kylo blinks blearily at the ceiling, and in a fit of sentiment he would not have allowed himself if he were truly awake, he puts his hand to his cheek and smiles.

**

In the snow on Starkiller base, Kylo knows he is dying. He remembers his anxiety to fight when he first came to Snoke, the want to destroy. This feeling pleased Snoke, but he said in Kylo’s mind, sibilant, _fight and die later, apprentice. You are not yet grown._ In the snow, after killing Han Solo, after nearly killing the defector, and being shot by Chewbacca, he knows that he has grown. In to what, he doesn’t know. But he is dying, and the white light of the snow is turning red.

Below him, he feels the planet scream. 

He screams with it, into the void inside himself where he smothered the Light, and he fills it with anger, grief, hatred, and a thousand emotions he could not name. 

The Force settles itself around him, comforting in its way, and he pushes it, further than he ever has before, filling it with his pain. Far away, General Organa, slumps to the floor, and sobs. 

Kylo closes his eyes against the agony, though it is fading, and he no longer has the strength to move his legs. The cold grips him, and he sinks. Before he loses consciousness entirely, a burst of emotion fills his mind – rage, terror, pain. Hux. _No, you bastard, you great spoiled brat, you are staying you will not die you don’t get to leave me – please don’t die I won’t forgive you you bastard, I command you to stay._

Weakly, Kylo smiles. _When have I listened to your commands, General?_ A new wave of panic and fear rushes through him, not his own, and he blacks out.

**

“You complete and utter bastard,” Hux says, when he opens his eyes. Kylo coughs, and then groans as his side throbs with pain. 

Kylo looks at Hux through slitted eyes, and sees dark shadows under his eyes and white knuckles on the edge of the bed. “What now?” Kylo mumbles, through a sore throat.

“What now? _What now?_ ” Hux tightens his mouth into a thin line and his glare becomes more steely. “You almost died, you great child, that’s what! We found you in the snow, on a collapsing planet, not breathing -” 

“I’m breathing now,” Kylo almost-growls at him. 

Hux just stares at him, eyes narrowed. 

Kylo itches under his skin and Hux slaps his side where the bowcast hit him. Kylo almost screams with the pain. Arching, he spits, “Stop that!” 

Hux snarls at him, and lunges forward, gripping his hair with one hand. Kylo glares into Hux’s grey eyes through his tears. 

“You do not get to leave me. Is that clear, Lord Ren?” Hux grinds out, their faces close together. Kylo feels his almost-grief, his panic and terror at finding Kylo still and blue in the snow, the ground rumbling beneath them, ordering his men to pick up Kylo, and lifting off just as the planet begins to truly collapse. 

He feels Hux’s anger at Kylo’s idiocy, at his part for bringing down Starkiller, and, _oh_ , Kylo knows that he’s going to pay for that but he also feels Hux’s unbearable, impossible affection.

Hux pulls at his hair harder, “Is that clear, Ren?” 

“Yes,” bites out Kylo, unable to make sense of the flood, and his confusion morphs into comforting fury. 

“Good.” Hux releases him abruptly, pushing him back to the pillow, and marches out of the medbay. 

The doctors and the droids, who had paused in their movements to stare at the exchange scuttle back to whatever they were doing with a well-placed glare from Kylo, and the shattering of a water glass next to his bed. 

In the graveyard shift, when there’s next to no-one around, Kylo heaves himself off the bed, towards the window. He leans an arm against it, one wrapped carefully about his side, and stares out. 

Kylo doesn’t have a name for the feeling inside him, amongst the maelstrom of grief and hatred and anger, but – but, it feels like – it feels like – 

Falling. 

He falls, and there’s the stars, the planets below and beyond the system, and the ship and the medbay, and his own beating heart, all paused and sluggish. It feels like a void, and aching in his chest, like his heart is squeezing and won’t stop, leaving him gasping. The tug of the hook under his ribs is still there, both stronger and weaker at the same time, and Kylo is on a precipice. 

It feels like dusk and dawn and Light and Dark, possessive and selfish, both reaching and grasping and he cannot stop the two sides of himself tearing his mind in two.

He punches the wall next to the window hard enough to leave a dent in the durasteel. 

The feeling simmers, like rage, in his belly, burning his chest. It hurts and he is angry. He has reached for Hux without realising and Hux has felt this all. 

Kylo withdraws sharply, but not before he feels Hux think, _I know, Ren. I know, now._ There is something soft and sad in his thoughts and Kylo is bewildered.

He gets back his bed, limping painfully, and sleeps. He dreams of Hux’s words.

_I know, now._

**Author's Note:**

> sorry if this is a bit OCC. but yeah. r/n i'm utter trash for evil space boyfriends.


End file.
